I Have to Confess that I LOLed

4 November 2009 - One Response

M was a student in my first period English I class last spring.  After a promising start to the semester, he started slipping—skipping, coming to class high, never doing work.  He failed the class.

This fall he was back in my repeater English I class.  He started out poorly immediately—all the problems from last semester with a generous dose of “huge class distraction” when he was there.

Sometime in October, he “transferred” to an alternative school.  I can’t lie; I was happy.  We had done everything we could to help him and it hadn’t worked. 

Imagine my surprise when he showed up at my classroom door yesterday, late, bearing a schedule showing him reenrolled at HHS and in my class again.  Shortly thereafter came his grades from the alternative school—69, 60, 60, 60.  Apparently that hadn’t worked out.  You’ll understand that I was not thrilled to see him. 

When his class returned from lunch yesterday, his first day back at HHS, he was tardy.  I told him to go get a pass (adding that the rules hadn’t changed in the last two months) and he told me (not so nicely) that he wouldn’t be returning to class.  An administrator corralled him back to class 25 minutes later.

A high maintenance student, to put it mildly. 

Half an hour later, at the beginning of fourth period, the fire alarm went off (leading to my Facebook status seen here).  Someone pulled it, rumor said.

Guess who pulled it?  Our dear friend M.

He has been suspended from HHS for 365 days.

I know it is not nice–that it is horrible really—but I must confess that I LOLed.

Twitchy

20 October 2009 - 2 Responses

I have now seen at least two administrators at this school who have some serious eye-twitching problems going on.

Stress?  Exhaustion?  Probably both.  Not an easy job…

And not one that I ever want.

I Needed This Today

13 October 2009 - One Response

From: Principal

Sent: Tue 10/13/2009 4:44 PM

To: ______; Holly Jordan

Subject: FW: You Rock!

I always pass along positive news like this!

Keep up the good work, and continue to be beacons of light for our children and providing leadership to our teachers. Don’t be surprised if I don’t ask the two of you to spearhead a PD in a teacher meeting about effective classroom management and Bloom’s Taxonomy Lesson Planning.

——————————————————————————–

From: Parent

Sent: Tue 10/13/2009 4:08 PM

To: Principal

Subject: RE: You Rock!

I forgot to tell you, You have two of the most amazing teachers on board with you. Their names are Holly Jordan and _____, just excellent. They teach with all of their heart and soul and I love them. Also they don’t sugar coat nothing with the students. They are always straight up with the students. C____ has been blessed to have Ms. Jordan for two years in a row. I pray she gets her for IB English for next year in the 11th grade. This is her first year with _____ and she loves him. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate their commitment to education and to all of the students at HHS.

Rice-a-Wrongy

8 October 2009 - 2 Responses

It’s third period and my inclusion teacher has passed out a slip of paper to each student with the name of a famous African-American leader on it.  We are trying an experiment to see if emulating a leader will improve class behavior. 

Ms. H: So now, you should all have a slip with a name on it–

Student: Oh, that’s a person’s name?  I thought it was some food.

The name?  Condoleezza Rice.

Kids are So Funny

23 September 2009 - 3 Responses

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again.  Teenagers.  Are.  Hilarious.  Usually unintentionally so.  Cases in point:

* * *

Student 1:  Who invented words?

Ms. J:  Well, that’s a complicated–

Student 2: Jesus!

* * *

Ms. J hands out invitations to HHS’s new Model UN club to a few students in her second period class.  A student who didn’t receive one leans over to try to catch a glimpse.

Student: Hey!  Why can’t I be a model??

* * *

My third period this semester is repeater inclusion English I.  (That means most of the students in the class have failed English I at least once before and several of them have various learning disabilities.)  They are really something else.  Something.  Else.  Anyway, they’ve been having trouble behaving, so this week we had a discussion about class “norms” that they think are important to keep a positive learning environment.  After establishing our norms and having all the students agree to and sign off on them, we came up with a signal that students or teachers can use to let the whole class or individual students know that they are not abiding by the norms.

Students: How about “chiiilllll?”

Ms. J: Okay.  Writes C-H-I-L-L on the board.

Students: No, add a Z!

Ms. J:  Uhhh…okay.  Now it says C-H-I-L-L-Z on the board.

Ms. J: Okay, so when you are breaking a norms, I’m going to say “chills” and you are going to–

Students: No, you’re saying it wrong!  It’s “chill,” not “chills.”

Ms. J:  But what about the Z?  Is the Z silent?

Students: Yeah!  It’s silent!

Ms. J:  Okay then.  Can I get a classwide “chill?”

Students: CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLL.

So now, when I need that class to calm down, I say, “Can I get a classwide chill?” and they all go, “Chiiiiiiiiiiiiillll.”  Cutest thing ever.

Running and Teaching

13 September 2009 - 3 Responses

Every August, I devise an informal list of goals for the school year.  Because of my rough emotional history at my place of employment, these goals are often focused on how I can successfully care for myself during the course of the school year.  That’s a post that I started but didn’t take the time to finish.  You may see it eventually, though.  Anyway, on to the particular point of this post.

One of my self-care goals for this school year was to keep running in my schedule.  Most of you know that I was a competitive runner during high school and my first two years of college.  Since then, though, and particularly since I started teaching, I have run very little at all.  Running has always been mentally difficult for me and I had gotten waaaay out of physical and mental shape in the last five years.  I’d never gotten entirely out of the routine of exercising, but exercising became walking and eventually walking the dog.  I often felt like I hadn’t exercised enough after my walks, and too many days went by without even that in my schedule. 

Last spring, I started trying to run 1.5 miles every few days.  It was ridiculously hard.  Once school got out, I set a concrete goal. By the end of the summer, I wanted to be able to run 4-5 miles pretty comfortably, so that once school started again, I could simply maintain that, rather than having to put a lot of energy into getting into shape.  So I called up my amazing dad, who gladly made me a schedule with two months of workouts.  By the beginning of August, I was able to run a steady five miles.  That in itself was a huge victory.  Running was actually enjoyable and made me feel GREAT when I was done, and I was having way fewer mental blocks about it than I had ever had before. 

So I set out into this school year with the goal to run 3-5 miles four days a week.  All summer I had been running first thing in the morning, but that was definitely not a possibility on school days, when I already have to get up at 5:30 a.m.  Knowing I would have difficulty getting home from work at 5:30 p.m. and then still having to go out for a run, I started taking my running stuff to work, so I could run on the trail behind school sometime in the afternoon.  And, long story slightly shorter, I’ve been doing it!  We’re three weeks into school and I’ve run at least four days every week.  Pretty soon it might officially be a part of my routine. 

I am so excited about this addition to my life, because its benefits are numerous.  The first, being (and feeling) physically healthier, is obvious.  And the mental health benefits are definitely there too.  While I’m not one of those people who run to let go off all their stress and aggression, it certainly doesn’t hurt!  I let go of worry while running and tend to feel renewed when I’m done.  I feel pleased about having succeeded at something that is really good for me.  There’s one more benefit that I didn’t expect ahead of time.  Fitting running into my afternoon/evening hours is helping me create a healthy line between my work life and non-work life.  Because I’m now trying to finish school stuff and get a run in before I leave school, all without getting home too terribly late, I find myself prioritizing what actually needs to get done for school that day and what could be saved for later.  Whereas before I would just stay at school and work until I couldn’t stand it anymore, I’m now drawing an actual deadline to get out the door.  It’s helping me be more productive and keeping me from obsessing about every little thing on my to-do list.  Having something else that is actually important to me to accomplish in an evening puts school in a better (i.e. “less important”)perspective. 

I really want to keep this up for the whole school year, and maybe even squeeze in a 5K race here and there.  I know I’m not out of the woods yet; this will only get more complicated when the sun starts setting too early for me to start a run at 5:30, but I’m determined to make it work.  I’m hoping a little more balance will help me avoid so much burnout this year.  I feel good!  Let’s get it done!

Can One Man Make All the Difference?

30 August 2009 - 6 Responses

(Or Woman.  But in this case it is a man.)

Many of you know that the year I began at HHS was also the first year in the reign of Mr. P, a principal hired to “save” our failing school, brought from another school which he supposedly had saved.  There was a media blitz and Mr. P was hailed as the soon-to-be hero of HHS. 

You may very well be aware of how that turned out.  During my first three years teaching there, HHS was irreparably blemished by an incredibly inefficient , inconsistent (or, perhaps, consistent in its inconsistency) administration.  Students were not given the stable, healthy environment they needed to succeed, and teachers were berated and belittled regularly(Actual quote from Mr. P, on the first day of his third year at HHS: “If this ship [that would be HHS] is going down, we’re all going down together.”  How inspiring.).  A lack of communication constantly made our jobs more taxing than they needed to be.  Teachers stopped enforcing school rules  because there was absolutely no back-up for them when they did so.  It was an extraordinary unhealthy work environment, a fact which is easily supported by many of my blog posts over the past three years. 

Last Spring, several of my coworkers and I made sure that the right people in our school district knew for certain what HHS really looked like.  We met with the school board and the superintendent.  I didn’t blog about those endeavors due to their sensitive nature, but, suffice it to say that the change we were seeking came to fruition, whether it was a result of our efforts or not.  Mr. P resigned (a forced resignation) in June. 

During Mr. P’s tenure at HHS, I read Jonathan Kozol’s  The Shame of the Nation and said this in a blog post from Spring 2007:

“…Certain highly gifted or, in any case, initially impressive urban principals are periodically elected to assume the same role as an incarnation of the possibilities for hope within a context of historic failure which we are encouraged to believe is not systemic but the fault primarily of the ineptitude or lassitude of previous administrators…”(198). Kozol says that though sometimes these principals do make a lasting difference, often they simply establish a “degree of calm” or a “sudden spike in test results” (199) that fail to last. Kozol warns that the problem with placing faith in one individual is that it causes us to ignore the “pervasive injures inflicted upon students by our acquiescence in a dual system and to convey the tantalizing notion that the problems of this system can be superseded somehow by a faith in miracles embodied in dynamic and distinctive individuals” (200).

This year, my first year at HHS, also happens to be the first year of Mr. P, the principal who is exactly as described above. He is an imposing black man with a shiny shaved head and impressively tailored suits. He was recruited from a high school in Virginia, where, under his leadership, the school’s test scores spiked dramatically. At the beginning of the year, he spouted speeches and slogans with a winning mix of authority, professionalism, and “real” talk, and I was quite taken. However, disciplinary and control issues at HHS this year have gotten absolutely no better, and have possibly gotten worse. Mr. P now seems to be a whole lot of mean talk and not very much serious action, although, to give him a break, it might be too early to tell. But I definitely now believe that hope for improvement cannot lie with one individual, no matter how nice his suits are.

It seemed very clear, under Mr. P’s reign, that real change could not come from one person.  I agreed with Kozol completely.  Then, though, came Mr. L, our new principal.

I have to admit that, despite my satisfaction over Mr. P leaving, I was skeptical of the new guy. My colleague R described it this way on her blog:

At the same time, however, it’s kinda scary. It’s like starting a new relationship–feeling like this could work out, but having second thoughts because you don’t want to be hurt again. Have you ever been there before? You’re a little hesitant to enjoy the moment or to have high expectations because, emotionally, you just can’t afford another let down, another heartbreak.

That’s exactly how I felt.  My friend and colleague C commented to R and I last week that it is as though the whole HHS faculty is coming out of an abusive relationship right now and it is very hard and scary to trust again.

But after only two weeks, I feel myself trusting, and I had to ask myself if Kozol was wrong.  After all, it seems that Mr. L IS making all of the difference!  It’s crazy awesome…and he’s only been employed at HHS for two weeks!  Suddenly HHS feels like a healthy place to work, like a place we don’t want to leave.  R has already commented that the changes Mr. L is enacting make her want to stay in teaching at HHS, while previously she was sure this was her last year.  C said HHS is now a place she wants to work, not just a place she is tolerating. 

A couple of telling differences from the first two weeks:

1.  Mr. P regularly used HHS’s intercom to sternly lecture/yell at students, so much so that we all learned to tune him out.  Worse, he sometimes used the intercom to berate teachers while students were in class with them (as in, “Teachers, did you not hear me?? DO NOT let students out of your rooms!!”).  I almost laughed aloud in amazement when Mr. L told the faculty that he wanted to use the intercom to say to students, “If no one has taken the time today to tell you that they care about you, let me be the first one to say so.  I love you.” 

2.  Many of our students, for many different reasons, do not get to school on time.  Class begins at 7:30, but there is a constant stream of students in the doors between 7:30 and 8:00.  This was a problem that was never addressed under Mr. P beyond an occasional mass phone message home encouraging students to be on time.  Not effective, believe it or not.  On the first day of this school year, Mr. L noticed the problem.  Before noon, he had talked to the Parent-Teacher Association president about getting some parent volunteers in the building to help sign in late students.  He had also talked to our database manager about creating a system to identify and flag chronically late students.  He announced this plan at the faculty meeting that afternoon.  School started Tuesday.  The plan was enacted by Thursday.   

Most telling, though, has been the incredible sense of unity and hopefulness among HHS’s facutly.  I’ve always been of the opinion that some amazing teachers work at HHS, despite what our test scores might say, and now, under leadership that brings us together, it is all the more obvious.  In the previous three years, many of us were saying, “it would be so powerful if we were unified,” but that message was perceived as divisive because it was not supported by the administration.  Now, the call for unity is coming fromthe administration, and we are all of one accord!  The faculty is not cliqueish, and the teachers’ lounge is not, as the stereotype suggests, a place for gossip.  Even the other administrators are flourishing under Mr. L; they seem much more positive and effective than last year.  And this unity makes it so obvious that HHS’s staff is devoted to helping all our students, from the highflyers to the hallwalkers.  As C said on Facebook, “positivity, warmth, and collegiality are contagious. It feels incredible to be a part of a team.”

So, can one man make all the difference?  No.  One man (or woman) alone cannot solve HHS’s problems.  But the leadership of one man can (and will, I pray!) bring others together, so that all of us, together, can make all the difference.

Beach Reads 2009

10 August 2009 - 2 Responses

Welcome to Holly’s Book Reviews, Beach Read Edition! 

beach

Let me clarify right away; the books below are not what most people would probably classify as a “beach read.”  In my head, at least, a beach read is a bit of a throwaway read, a page turner, like the Twilight series or Mary Higgins Clark.  A book that will entertain you without requiring any real brain space.  Beach reads are the sitcoms of books.  Or something.  (I have a strange fear that I am the only person who defines “beach read” this way.)  Anyway, I will still call the books below beach reads, due to the fact that I (wait for it) read them while at the beach. 

When I went to the library to prepare for our beach trip, I looked specifically for What is the What by Dave Eggers.  Last year at the beach I read his mostly autobiographical novel A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (reviewed here), which, despite living up to the heartbreaking part of the title, was, for me, the perfect book for a week at the beach.  So, I had the hope that What is the What, about one of the Sudanese Lost Boys (another slightly novelized version of reality) would be another good choice, despite its serious subject matter.  And, in fact, it was.  This was a marvelous book—an easily accessible and riveting way to learn about the horrors and aftermath of the civil war in Sudan, through the personal, touching, and sometimes even funny story of Valentino Achak Deng.  I confess ignorance about Sudan, and I learned much from Achak’s story. I definitely recommend this book.

 My next read was 84, Charing Cross Road by Helene Hanff.  I read this one in one sitting (a sitting in a beach chair, in fact, with sand under my feet and a sunhat on my head) in an hour or less.  Some Englishy person recommended it to me awhile ago, and I recently discovered that it already existed in our personal collection (this happens all the time…I have no idea which 2000 or so books we actually own).  This is a book of letters (non-fiction) written between 1949 and 1969, between the author, who is a New York screenwriter, and an employee at a  second-hand rare bookshop in London.  Over the course of 20 years, the author and the employees of the bookshop develop a deep relationship, though they never actually meet.  The back of the book describes it as a “love-affair” between the two sides, but it doesn’t mean a love love affair, more like an infatuated friendship.  Anyway, it was cute, and made me muse about the lost art of letter writing.  That’s all.

Finally, I picked up Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting by in America by Barbara Ehrenreich off one of the several overstuffed bookshelves at our beach cabin.  I heard about it ages ago (it was published in 2001) but had never gotten around to reading it. Barbara Ehrenreich is a journalist who tried to make ends meet from minimum wages jobs, such as a maid, a waitress, and a Walmart associate.  She tried in three different cities, getting whatever jobs and housing she could find.  Turns out (surprise!) it’s not so easy to support oneself on a minimum wage job.  In fact, it is painfully hard.  I think I read this book a little too late—most of this just isn’t news to me or anyone I know.  Hopefully it’s not news to you either.  If it is, you should probably read this book. 

Thanks for reading Holly’s Book Reviews, Beach Read Edition!  Since Fall is coming quick, I suggest you set your beach chair in your living room and open up a little bit of brain space for one of these non-throwaway beach reads.   

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian

23 July 2009 - Leave a Response

In my continuing quest to decide just how much I love modern Native-American author Sherman Alexie, I have read another one of his books.  The first one I read is reviewed here and the second is mentioned here.

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian won the National Book Award for Young Adult Fiction in 2007.  It is the story of Arnold Spirit, better known as Junior, a fourteen year old Spokane Indian born with a variety of medical problems, who is nerdy and picked on, but also incredibly smart.  He’s also a budding cartoonist, and “his” drawings and accompanying observations appear throughout the book.  After an unfortunate incident on his first day of reservation high school, Junior’s teacher encourages him to transfer to the white high school 22 miles of the reservation, where Junior will get a better education and a chance to go to college.   Once he does, Junior must endure both the pain of navigating a new social environment as a socially awkward kid, and the ridicule of the other Indians on the reservation, who see him as a traitor.

Despite several personal tragedies much worse than just learning to fit in, Junior is heroic in his adjustment to life as a “part-time Indian.”  The book is funny, positive, and has a pretty much “happily ever after” ending.  These characteristics, among others (like the talk of masturbation and “boners” which is causing bans of the book), are why it can be firmly categorized as Young Adult Lit.  Things just tend to work out for Junior, with a surprising amount of hope and happiness.

Despite Junior’s positive outlook and narration, this  book is full of a profound sadness which points to the hopelessness of reservation life for most Indians.  While Junior makes the decision to move beyond reservation life, other characters try to escape in other ways.  Junior’s sister marries a man she barely knows and moves to Montana, while Junior’s best friend Rowdy, whose father beats him, beats up other kids and is constantly angry and mean.  Junior sees alcoholism everywhere (including in his father), and all of the tragedies Junior encounters in the book are alcohol-related. The point is very clear: Indians got screwed over and now they screw themselves over with alcohol.  Junior expounds on this point several times.  First, as he considers how to deal with his grief over the loss of a friend:

In one of [Euripedes'] plays, Medea says, “What greater grief than the loss of one’s native land?”

I read that and thought, “Well, of course, man.  We Indians have LOST EVERYTHING.  We lost our native land, we lost our languages, we lost our songs and dances.  We lost each other.  We only know how to lose and be lost.”

Then, after another funeral:

All of my white friends can count their deaths on one hand.

I can count my fingers, toes, arms, legs, eyes, ears, nose, penis, butt checks, and nipples, and still not get close to my deaths.

And you know what the worst part is?  The unhappy part?  About 90 percent of the deaths have been because of alcohol.

Gordy gave me this book by a Russian dude named Tolstoy, who wrote: “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”  Well, I hate to argue with a Russian genius, but Tolstoy didn’t know Indians.  And he didn’t know that all Indian families are unhappy for the same exact reasons: The fricking booze.

It is these serious issues intertwined with a hopeful, enjoyable story, that make Absolutely True Diary so noteworthy.  Before I make any final decisions about just how much I love Sherman Alexie (the possible choices are “quite a bit,” “a whole freaking lot,” or “the love with which I can only love a favorite author”), I would like to read another book like Indian Killer, that is not so much geared at the young adult crowd.  That means that when I get back to Sherman Alexie, Reservation Blues or The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven is next.

Cocktails and Tall Tales Grand Finale: Air Guitar

21 July 2009 - 2 Responses

Please enjoy “Air Guitar” by Jenna!  (See this post for an explanation.)  It was pretty much unanimous at the party that Jenna’s story was the awesomest, which is why I have saved it for last.  Rock on, Jenna, rock on!

*  *  *

The cement was cold and Kathy couldn’t help but wonder how she was feeling both her stomach and the back of her neck pressed firmly against it. “Maybe I slipped?” she thought, as she mentally retraced her steps to just moments before.

She remembered having snuck out of the office at 9:13am, having finished up a routine cleaning 17 minutes early. Kathy loved starting off her days with a personal challenge, such as record time cleanings. Some days she would actually only floss each tooth 3 times on each side just to push her personal record. She knew it was wrong, and against everything her 1983 Certificate of Dental Hygiene promised of her abilities, but after 26 years of scraping, flossing and brushing with rarely a word of thanks, the mind can yearn for diversion. Besides, Kathy always tried to make up for it, using her own abstract ethical scale by later in the shift discovering sleeping gingivitis in a goody-two shoes patient. Those were the ones that needed shaking up, anyways. But now, with her 17 minutes between appointments Kathy had snuck into the office building’s hallway, paused at her reflection in the mirror to reward herself with a solid air guitar performance, and ducked into Raj’s office.

“It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, eh Mr. Raj-ers?!” she said. She loved doing word play with Raj’s exotic, non-North Carolinian name. “Guess what I did last night?” At this point, she put one foot up on his desk and used the angle to rock her air guitar even harder, distorting the strings. “I boiled the perfect eggs! They say it’s not even called ‘boiling,’ actually, it’s called ‘hard cooking’ them. Anyways, I knew they probably don’t have them where you come from, eh Raj-Mahal?, so I brought you some.” Now that she looked at him, however, she sensed by the dead look in his eyes and rigid body language that maybe he hadn’t had the stellar morning she had. At this point, with one foot still up on the table, Kathy felt a little silly. But not wanting to look defeated, she tried to rock it one more time, singing, “Cooked not boiled, it don’t get spoiled” and then brought her foot down awkwardly. “Well, I brought you 7, because I know you, Raj-a-lots, and you can’t stop at 6. I’m just going to leave the eggs over here, on the windowsill.”

Yes, that was the last thing she remembered. Now, as she blinked up she could see the very window she had been at – 3 stories up. Her position on the cement made sense. She must have fallen, but what had happened? Raj-a-licious…? But now she could see something else. Something like snow. No, hail. Something large and white coming down. Softly. No, quickly. Hard. – CRACK – CRACK  – Her eyes got bigger as – CRACK – she saw perfectly hard cooked eggs crashing down all around her. Close, – CRACK – too close, and hitting the pavement with a severeness that chilled her oddly lain body. Four had fallen. Two more to go. No, wait, three. Why had she given him 7? She was too kind with Raj-Kosh-Magosh. – CRACK – CRACK – One left. She rapidly moved her eyes – the only mobile part of her body – not knowing how she would defend herself from it – spit at it? Here it came – CRACK – right near her left hip, but still on the cement. Yes! She smiled and played air guitar with only her facial muscles, but it got the job done and felt right. Rock on, Kathy. Rock on! That Raj-Podge was such a jok-

And that’s when the stapler hit her right in the throat.